A Tough Day to Get Through…

Due to a few requests and as promised, the next segement in my series about how Danny and I got together.  You can also catch it from the beginning with a “Suprising Turn of Events“ and then follow the links at the bottom of each to the next segment.

Part V

A Tough Day to Get Through

I woke up early the next day… well, early for me on a Sunday, about 7:00am.  As if on cue, the phone rang.  It was Danny on the other end wishing me a good morning.  He asked if he could take me to breakfast.  He said he really wanted to spend some time with me before things got crazy for the day.  Of course, since he had already mentioned this possibility on the phone the night before, I was prepared and said, “Yes, I’d love to go out to breakfast with you.”  I told him it would take me about forty-five minutes to get ready and ten or fifteen minutes to get over to where he was living.  So I’d see him in about an hour.

Once I was ready, I drove over to his sister’s house.  By then, his Mom had arrived and stayed the night.  His youngest sister was also in town, but she was out with friends.  I stopped my car in front of the house.  Danny was waiting outside for me.  He motioned for me to roll down my window, which I did.  Danny invited me inside to meet his Mom.  I parked my car in front of the house and went inside with him. 

Danny’s mom is a kind woman with a warm smile and sparkling blue eyes, like Danny’s.  She is about the same height as me and on that day her long hair was swept up near the top of her head.  It reminded me of Angel hair, as it was a beautiful, wispy, white.  Her name is Joy and it fits her.

I could tell right away that she is a likable character.  We were only in the living room briefly, so we didn’t talk long at that point.  She asked if I was a good driver.  This seemed to slightly embarrass Danny, as he countered with a terse, “Mom!”  But I came back quickly with, “Yes, I am.  I’m also a good pilot.”  To which she smiled, nodded as she seemed to be sizing me up.  She said that Danny had mentioned that.  She told us to have fun and be good… and for me to drive carefully, as I had precious cargo with me… her son.  She gave us both a hug and we left for our breakfast destination.

We got into the car and I asked where we were headed.  He told me of a place called “Hurricanes” and asked me if I knew where it was.  I smiled and told him I know the place very well.  I used to frequent Hurricanes in the mid 1990′s.  He asked if that was Ok, and I told him that would be great.  We made our way over to the restaurant, went in and found a table.

As I looked around, the place seemed to have stood still in time!  Even a couple of the same people were still working there!  Danny and I looked at the menu.  Although Danny already knew what he wanted, it took me a couple more minutes to decide.  We ordered within a few minutes.  We chatted.  He asked me if after breakfast, would I mind stopping by the hotel where his friend was staying, and visiting with them for a few minutes.  I told him that would be fine.

We ate a terrific breakfast and went on our way to the very nice, new  hotel, just off of Lomas, near the freeway.  Curtis and his family were staying on the top floor.  The room had a very nice view.  We stayed and visited for about 45 minutes.  It was nice to meet a friend of Danny’s.   That kind of gives you a feel for who a person is, when you meet some of their friends.

We visited on the balcony, overlooking the western view of the city.  They seemed to be a fun group of people.  They talked about work and ranching and past experiences together.  They live in a small town called Mosquero in northeastern New Mexico and also have a ranch a little ways from there, in Bueyeros, NM.   I had never heard of Bueyeros, so I learned a few things!  It was a nice visit.

As we walked back to my car, I was prepared to take Danny back to his sister’s house.  I said something about taking him back and he asked what I would be doing that day.  I told him I had a couple of errands to run, then I’d go home, have lunch and get ready for Cathy’s memorial service.  He asked if I would mind if he tagged along on my errands.  He said he just didn’t feel ready to go back yet, and that he would prefer to spend more time with me.  I was flattered.  I told him sure he could come along.  It would be nice to have the company.

It seemed to me that for Danny, spending time with me was helping him buffer himself from all the sadness he had been experiencing for the past year or so. And on this particular day, perhaps he needed a little extra buffering, as it was already going to be such a difficult afternoon.

As I drove up to the pet food store, “Long Leash on Life” in the NE heights of Albuquerque, Danny and I chatted about all manner of things.  The trip itself was uneventful, but we were learning things about each other and it was nice to spend time with someone who was so comfortable and like-minded.

Once my errands were done, I navigated back to Danny’s sister’s house to drop him off.  Once there, he asked if I wanted to come in and meet his little sister.  I didn’t want to intrude, but he said he wanted to introduce me.  I parked my car out front and we went in.  The house smelled wonderful, like a country kitchen.  His mom, Joy, greeted me with a smile and asked if I could stay for a bite of lunch with them.  I accepted.

Joy had been cooking beans and frying up a batch of okra.  The beans were for the potluck after the memorial service.  But we sampled them a little with lunch.  She had also prepared sliced fruit.  Danny introduced me to his youngest sister, Linda.  She had flown in from Dallas, for the memorial.  She was delightful.  I liked her immediately.

After we finished lunch, I said my goodbyes and told them I’d see them at the memorial.  Danny walked me to my car.  I felt the need to remind him about how people can be regarding things they don’t understand and things about which they don’t have all the information.   I reminded him about how people get ideas into their heads regarding how things “should be” when it comes to grief and loss.  People can be a bit  judgemental when they don’t know the whole story.

I told him that I would see him at the service, but that I planned to give him some space so no one would give him a rough time about “not grieving properly,” or whatever they might come up with.   He said he hadn’t even thought of that.  He thanked me for being considerate of that, but he wasn’t worried too much about it.

I wanted him to be able to talk with all the people who would be there to talk with him and comfort him.  I didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea.  I didn’t want anyone making snap judgements because of who he was hanging out with or because they thought he was moving-on too fast.

We said our ”see ya soon.”  I went home and made sure my Tabouli was ready to take to the potluck.  I rested a little, changed clothes and got ready to go to Cathy’s memorial service in Rio Rancho.

*Next Installment: “The Hardest Part of That Day” *